if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
