she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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