Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
