1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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