just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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