Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
40s are totally the cure
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
