So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
