Tell her she can't have a vagina
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
i wish my penis had a tongue
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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