Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
