kristin has been a bad kristin
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize