So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
