i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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