so that wasnt chicken after all
Fuck appropriateness.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
