So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
