I bet he comes in French.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
She told me I should be a condom model.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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