think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize