I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
