i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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