the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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