omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
