i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
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