I hate your face
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
