I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
