yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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