i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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