You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
