Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
