Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
After tacos, we're chasing women.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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