Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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