we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
operation harelip BJ is a go
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
