she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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