We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
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