heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
