just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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