Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
YAS. BRING CRAB.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
