dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
