Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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