For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
