I am full of burrito and curiosity
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Randomize