you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
