How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
