Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Found the puke drawer
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
So vagazzling was a success
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
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