Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
