So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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