Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Randomize
