i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
