sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
