is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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