I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
