I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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