We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
