she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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