I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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