fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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