No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Randomize
