I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
