Cold hands, warm shart.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
